A sex seance

A ‘wank seance’ – when masturbating, accidentally summoning up the image of a dead relative. Then, not being able to dismiss the image of them looking on, disapprovingly, at what you’re doing. A work friend introduced me to that term, and I found it funny. However, last week, I experienced something even worse. Last Saturday…

Flutterings in my Goodge Street

Two days after I met the Abrasive Uber passenger, I had my first drink with the Great Scot as just friends, instead of lovers. A few hours before we were due to meet, he sent me this text: Oh for fuck’s sake! Initially, I skim-read the message and thought he was cancelling, but then read…

The legacy of exes

Have you ever had a boyfriend or girlfriend, and felt like their ex cast a shadow over your relationship? It can feel like you’re living with a ghost. Even if they don’t want to get back together, the ex can still feel like an unbeatable rival. I’ve got two stories about this. The first was…

James and all his penises

Recently, I met up with my friend, Ruth, for the first time in ages. Ruth is a legend – a bit unreliable but infinitely supportive and compassionate, and hilarious. We met when I was her supervisor, several years ago.  Recently, she said “being friends with you is like the bit in the Wizard of Oz,…