19th July 1997: “We sat on his bed and talked about the more important stuff.”

From my diary, when I was 13. I had met Ben, who was 20, a few months earlier. He had written me a letter saying he could see me on Saturdays, when his Mum and also girlfriend were both at work. He probably changed his mind, because most Saturdays he would say he couldn’t see me because he had work to do, but ‘maybe next week’. 

However, on this occasion, he was free.

“I saw Ben today! I met Natalie at the library and we went to her sister’s house, where I phoned him. Then I went to his house, but because of Ballet, I only had 20 minutes.

Anyway I rung the doorbell and he answered the door. He was wearing a T-shirt I hadn’t seen before, a Quiksilver T-shirt. Whenever he answers the door I’m always stunned for a couple of seconds by how lush he is.

We went up to the living room and watched the end of this film he had on.

Then he told me that he’d finished with Simone last night. I couldn’t believe it.

Anyway, I had a glass of water so I wouldn’t taste so horrible if we happened to kiss.

We sat and chatted for about 20 minutes but then I said I would have to go.

We went down the stairs and he was just opening the front door and I said “Stop” (I must have sounded a right div!) and then we hugged each other and then kissed!

It was nicer than last time. He’s a lush kisser (not that I have many people to compare him to).

Anyway I went to Ballet and I was actually on time (!) But then I found out that Miss White, the dancing teacher, was leaving.

After Ballet I went to Natalie’s to sort out my hair and everything then I went back to Ben’s (I’d told him I would, earlier on).

I rang the doorbell twice before he answered it.

We went back to his living room and watched USA High, then he turned the TV off and we listened to a bit of music and chatted about things.

After a while we went up to his room and I made him put his Garbage CD on.

We sat on his bed and talked about the more important stuff.

He said he’d told two of his mates about me, a guy called Tim and Tony Hill. It seemed like they both gave him a bit of a hard time about Simone. I thought it was cool that he’d told someone about me, because it was like it meant something to him.

He also said he couldn’t believe I was 7 years younger than him, because I seemed like the same age as him.

We kissed when we were sitting on his bed. It was more relaxed, I think, than before.

Then, at about 3.30pm (I’m guessing here, I have no idea what time it was) he said “you’d better go soon, my mum will be back.”

He went to close his window and when he came back, we kissed again.

He said, “I wish we could see more of each other but it’s awkward.”

We went down to the front door sort of area thing and I put my hands on his hair and we hugged again, then kissed!

Then I went to Natalie’s, and probably bored her rigid by drivelling on and on about Ben.

Mum and my brother are going to stay up North some time next week, so I’ll see Ben then. I’m going to phone him.

After we’d kissed on his bed, he said “I’m lucky because you’re really nice.”

Oh, Ben is SO LUSH, in every possible way.

I don’t think I’m in love with him, yet. But I really REALLY like him. VERY MUCH.

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