*Apologies for the delay writing this post. I was writing a different post, which was a bit more esoteric, but I’ve decided to come back to that. Then, every spare moment, I’ve been re-touching the sodding woodwork in my bathroom.* Last weekend, Andrew and I had our first conversation about moving in together. On Friday,…
One of the ‘challenges’ that Andrew and I have come across, is sex not lasting as long as we might’ve hoped. It’s a challenge we often ‘come across’ unexpectedly quickly! Andrew seems to feel a lot worse about it than I do. The layout of my gynaecological zones means I’m never going to come from…
Last weekend, I met Andrew’s parents. For a while, he’d been speaking vaguely about us going back to his home city for Easter. (I won’t say where he’s from, to avoid identifying him, but it’s one of the smaller cities, a couple of hours from London.) Then, by Thursday, nothing had been mentioned, so I…
A couple of weeks ago, I had my last counselling session. I had a few final topics I wanted to talk through with her, while I still had the chance the trip to Paris, and how Andrew got depressed some work pressures an issue with my friend Ruth As I was walking to the session,…
I wrote most of this post back in February, but then everything happened with the anniversary of the fire and I wanted to write about that instead, and didn’t get round to completing this. Now it feels more relevant as Part Two of this saga has come up. Andrew and I had our first proper…
One of my best friends came to stay this weekend. I’ve realised she’s a jelly-fisher! The ‘jelly-fisher’ concept was introduced in Bridget Jones’ Diary. In the film, they say talking to a jellyfisher is like swimming in the sea, and being stung repeatedly by enormous jellyfish. But actually, in the book, that’s not quite what ‘jelly-fisher’…
Last week it was my birthday. It was one of the best birthdays I’ve had. I had the week off work, and started the day at the house of a friend who moved away from London a few years ago. I’d driven up to see her the day before, and we went out for a…
A few weeks ago, it was pancake day. Andrew and I arranged he would come to mine, and we’d make pancakes together (we actually did it on Ash Wednesday because of his shifts). We agreed he’d come around at about 8.00pm. We had this conversation about traditional pancakes ingredients, during the day. I got annoyed…
I was delighted after the long-awaited declaration of love. The morning after Andrew said it, we were hugging and chatting in bed. “I love you,” I said. “Do you feel loved?” “Yeah,” he replied. “What does it feel like?” He thought for a moment, and then said, “Unfamiliar.” I thought that was sad. I wasn’t…
I’ve just realised how often I start posts with “well, I’ve been feeling VERY emotional over the last week.” I think it’s partly because I’m quite dramatic. Dramatic things do seem to happen to me, but I also make a little bit of drama go a long way. Also, as a therapist, I ask people…
It’s been two weeks since I went back to my old house, which caught fire in 2012. I’ve felt absolutely shattered. It’s given me a new appreciation for how tiring it must be for my patients, confronting trauma. I’m still feeling quite on edge and unsettled. I keep thinking for a split second that things…
Last weekend was a very emotional one. It was the anniversary of the fire that killed my ex-boyfriend. I went back to our house for the first time since 2012. The first anniversary after the fire, in 2013, I went and stayed with my parents and felt miserable. After that, I was with Matthew for…
I’ve had my contraceptive implant taken out last week, and within a day and a half, I already felt so much better. As I wrote in a previous post, I decided to get it removed because of the effect it was having on my mood. It was a bit of a palaver to arrange. I…
My most recent posts have been quite dramatic, about things like near relationship-breakups and suicidal thoughts. This weekend I had a really nice, quiet weekend with Andrew, and I realised that’s exactly what I need to write about. I’ve still been feeling very ill with the flu. It’s been three weeks now. I had nearly…
A diary entry from when I was 15. Skim through the convoluted bit about who is spending the evening where. I’m starting the year a bit miserably. I’m still upset about what happened last night. I was meant to be spending the evening with Becky and James. Natalie and Louise were going to a party…
